Or “How I Went Home and Came Back Again”
There is nothing like going away and coming back to make things both wondrous and strange. Going home for the Christmas and then returning to KL again, I was able to experience that strange familiarity of homecoming from two directions.
Christmas in North Carolina was not part of the original plan. Before I left in August, the plan was for my parents to come visit KL sometime in May. As I began my adjustment to the heat, spice, and humor of life in Malaysia some of my stories made more of an impact on my mom than others. “It’s really hot in Malaysia isn’t it?” and “How long is the flight to KL, again?” slowly led to the conclusion that my parents would rather meet half way, in a place, say, like Hawaii, than take the marathon flight out to KL. One bout of homesickness and several Kayak.com searches later, when I realized that it was cheaper for me to fly home than fly to Hawaii that settled it. I was coming home for Christmas!
The week before I went home I could barely focus on anything else. My big “try to finish this stage of research before you leave” push was met by an all time productivity low as I intermitently checked the weather in Charlotte and added things like “see uncensored movies” and “cook Malay for parents” to my ever growing list of things to do in North Carolina.
Even the Mulu caves with their gargantuan caverns and rugged legacy of titanic forces could barely keep me from chattering on about North Carolina when I went to visit Munirah in Miri. Somehow, in the midst of tropical jungle with hand eating catepillars and gigantic walking stick bugs everywhere, I managed to say something like “oh, this limestone reminds me of home . . .” I think Munirah wanted to hit me!
All of the anticipation and the buildup still couldn’t compare to what it felt like to finally be home. I nearly knocked my dad over when he walked into the airport. For a few days, the sheer familiarity of life at home made life in Malaysia fade into those recesses of the mind reserved for dreams. My littlest brother Jake had grown another foot or so since the summer. Clay, my little brother, had survived his first semester at college, in engineering school no less! And my dog, Cassidy, looked something like a petite polar bear in her winter coat of fur.
I spent the next two weeks soaking up all the aspects of American life, both the small and the cosmically important, that I had missed in KL. Catching up with friends and hanging around with family were the best. But little things like small talk with strangers and sugar free flavor shots also added to the holiday cheer. There was a friend filled visit to Chapel Hill and Greensboro followed by Christmas with the family and then a dash up to Duplin County to see my dad’s side before it was finally time to say goodbye, again, and fly across the sea.
Three things struck me during my reunions with friends from college and high school. First, everyone looked a tad more serious and professional than they had before I left. Winter styles will do this, but I could tell there was something more. And, my friends in law school will kill me for this, but they especially seemed to have acquired this serious glamour and were far more analytical than they were before.
Second, everyone, except those still in college and those in TFA, mentioned how hard it was to find friends and a network half as interesting as the ones they had known in college. It seemed everyone was struggling with how to fill their time. While sad, this made me feel a little better about my own struggle to connect with people in KL.
Finally, I realized that for the next several years at least or until we all either move to DC or found a retirement home for Chapel Hill graduates, the holidays are going to be one of the few times when I will be able to catch up with my closest friends in person. The holidays are more exciting than they were in college, but also bittersweet.
The flight(s) back to KL was mostly uneventful. On the runway in Newark, the pilot did make a rather peculiar announcement that we would be delayed a bit ” so they can saw a piece back onto the plane,” but missing parts or not we still made it into Hong Kong just fine, if three hours late.
New Year’s Eve in the Hong Kong transfer terminal was probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. A few seconds before the stroke of midnight, one of the pink-scarfed airline attendants manning the transfer desks counted down the time on her phone and then shouted across the hall to the attendants manning the desks on the other side. “Happy New Year!” trilled back and forth from either side. One attendant almost fell out of her chair trying to call friends to wish them a happy new year as her friend jumped up and down beside her. The airline attendents kindly included the only two occupants of the transfer hall, a matronly Fillipino woman and me, in their cheer. As the sounds of New Year’s wishes filled the hall, the Fillipino woman sat up from her berth on the airport benches and said to me “Happy New Year – next year will be better!” with an ironic twist of her head to encompass the gleeful airline attendants, the empty airport, and our spot in the transfer hall.
A good thirteen hours later when I finally arrived at my apartment, KL seemed so familiar but yet unreal. The doormen raised their eyebrows as I walked in – perhaps in reference to my two week absence or the heavy winter coat thrown over my bag. After winter in North Carolina, KL resembled a pungent sauna smelling of spice and fermentation. Brighter, hotter, louder than I remembered, it was still, in an almost inverted way, my home.





















